Monday, March 30, 2009

Flat Stanley and the Pound

Dear Gavin,

The sun was shining when we all woke up and I thought it was going to be a

great day. I was wrong. Gramma was sitting on Papa's sofa drinking that

stuff she calls coffee. She usually sits on her sofa with us, but she was kind

of crabby and said that we took up all the room. I'm sure she didn't mean me;

it was probably Oscar and Emmy and that cat, Gremlin. Oscar said to leave

her alone and let her drink her coffee.

Well, the thing is, I didn't want her to sit on Papa's sofa. Okay, I'm going to tell

you what happened, okay? It was like this..... you remember that gourd thing

I told you about that I kind of tried to eat? Rememeber, I threw up in the floor

and had that poopy accident. Okay, I told you that was the day that Gramma

was mad at Papa about the gutter. I told you that Gramma cleaned it all up and

I didn't even get in trouble? Okay, what I didn't tell you was that I also threw

up on Papa's sofa. It went down in the cushions and you couldn't even see it.

Well, when Papa sat on the sofa he said it stunk. Gramma sniffed the air and

said she didn't smell any thing. Papa kept saying that he smelled something

bad and he asked me what I had been into. I tried to just look cute and turn

my head to one side, he likes that. Well, Gramma made all of us take a bath

last night just in case her nose wasn't working.

I guess you know what I am about to tell you, huh? Gramma was sitting there

on Papa's sofa, drinking her coffee and looking on the computer. All of a

sudden she sniffed the air. I sat very, very still. Then she got up and moved

the whole sofa to the middle of the room and took all of the cushions off. I

went and hid under the big table, as far under as I could get. She got out that

vacuum and she started cleaning everything. then she went and got out some

special leather cleaning stuff and some cleaning rags. Papa came in and asked

her what she was doing. She said, "I smell it." He said, "You smell what?" She

said, "Whatever you were smelling and it is gross."

Papa looked at the pile of cushions and saw my dried up vomit! He said, "Hey,

what's that?" Gramma bent down and sniffed it! She pulled her head back and

said, "Wall-E, where are you, you little devil!" I didn't move a muscle.

After Gramma cleaned all the furniture she had to go work in the store. She

turned off the TV. Oscar says when she turns it off, you might as well take a

nap, because she has work to do. I was kind of bored and there was this

magazine she left on the table..... About that table; she calls it a coffee table,

but there's no coffee on it. Well, I was tearing her magazine up and I guess she

must have known, because all of a sudden she was there. It wasn't a pretty

sight. She rolled up the magazine and spanked me with it!

She told me if I didn't cut it out with all my shenanigans I was destined for the

pound. "What does that mean?" I asked Oscar and Emmy. Emmy just rolled

her eyes at me, but Oscar says the pound is where bad dogs go that nobody

loves. Would she really send me to the pound? I thought she loved me.

Oscar says not to worry too much, cause she has said that to him before. He

told me that before he came to live with Gramma that he lived with Jill. He

said Jill really was going to take him to the pound and that's why Gramma

let him come live with her. He said that Gramma won't take any animal to

the pound, she was just mad. He says to lay low and act really good and she

will hold me again soon. I hope so.

She is doing something with Flat Stanley now. She takes him every where.

Flat Stanley isn't even real.... he's flat!

Your un-flat dog, Wall-E

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