Monday, December 28, 2009
I have been so busy chewing up all the toys that Gramma brought back from when she went to see you. I am still a little upset that I did not get to go! I was all ready to jump into Gramma's suitcase, but she filled it full of so much stuff that I would have been totally squished!
I have something exciting to tell you about. I wish that Gramma had pictures....... But it would be dangerous for her to take them. That is what Oscar told me, anyway. We have bobcats in our woods!!!! A whole family!! With babies!!!
I heard Papa talking about these bobcats and I thought that maybe we had another cat and his name was Bob. But then Papa told us that these are a kind of wild animal. They have very sharp claws and teeth and they are carnivores. That means that they are meat eaters. I like to eat meat myself, so I was wondering why this was a bad thing. I asked Gramma and she told me that I should stay in my yard and very close to her while I am outside because the meat they like to eat is small animals. What is she talking about? Meat is that stuff that Gramma cooks and it smells yummy and she gives me a little taste and then I beg for more, right?
Oh my boy, you should sit down while I tell you this. These bobcats and other animals like them like to eat their meat raw, that means they don't cook it........ And that is not all, either. These bobcat creatures like to kill their meat.... and..... I am the kind of meat they like to eat!!!!! This is just wrong, I think. I have only gone out three times today and then I did my business very fast and came right back in. I did not run in circles through the snow like I wanted to, no, I did not!
Oscar tells me that he is not afraid of any bobcat and that he will take all the time he needs to and will not be rushed. I noticed that he came in as quick as Emmy and I, though. He said that was just a coincidence. I did not know what that meant, but Gramma told me that is when two separate events happen at the same time for no reason. He is wrong, I know the reason, he is scared! I will tell you how I know this.
When Aunt Debbie was here this weekend, that cat, Smokey (she used to be Spooky, but Aunt Debbie changed her name) came into the house. We were all amazed because no matter how we have tried to invite her in, she will not enter the house. Well, it seems that while we were gone on our trip, Smokey came inside to be with Aunt Debbie. But that is not what I wanted to tell you about. I wanted to tell you that while Smokey was inside Emmy and I were quite content to share our space with her and we did for awhile. All of a sudden Oscar realized that there was a cat in our midst and started chasing her and barking at her. Emmy and I thought it looked like fun, so we joined in. We used to play this game with that other snobby cat and he would leap up onto something that we could not reach and taunt us with his long tail. Well, Smokey decided to fight back and she clawed Oscar! I heard him cry and then he wouldn't come out from under the table. Gramma picked him up and checked him over to see if he was bleeding, but he was okay. I think that he is scared of this bobcat, don't you?
Gramma says that Oscar is all bark and no bite when it comes to cats. Why does she say these things? Is she trying to confuse me? When I looked at her she knew I was confused so she told me it was false bravado..... like that helped with my confusion. Where does she find all these words? Emmy says that it just means that Oscar acts like he is brave, but he really isn't. All I can say is that he is a really good actor. He might win an Oscar for his performance! Hahaha, I made a joke!
Gramma says that it is time to go outside for the night night pee-pee time and then we are going to bed. I bet you are getting ready to go to bed, too. Sleep well and know that I am a very cautious creature and that Gramma will keep me safe from the dreaded bobcat. There are traps out to capture them and one has already been trapped and is gone. Don't forget that you are my boy and that I want you to be careful, too! I love you.
Your careful dog,
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
We met Granddaddy's cat. His name is Snoopy. I do not like his cat! Come to think of it, I have not met a cat I like. Cats have really sharp claws. They hide these claws and you cannot see them until they release them from the hiding place in their paws. This is an unfair advantage as far as I am concerned! Advantage is a new word for you and me...... let us see what it means.
The dictionary says.......a factor or circumstance of benefit to its possessor. That means that the cat's claws are good for him to fight other animals who might think he can't fight.
Look at Emmy. She is so tiny and so sweet. She actually likes to meet new people and animals. The only time she would ever fight is if you try to take her food, then she will show her teeth and growl. But when she met this cat called Snoopy she was wagging her tail and sniffing a friendly little sniff. That mean cat pulled out his claws and swatted Emmy in the head! Can you believe it. I was shocked. No way was I getting near that cat!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
I saw mountains! Gramma says that we have mountains in Missouri, but the mountains I saw were in Tennessee. I was pretty scared when I heard Papa say, "Here we go, up the mountain." First of all, I did not know what a mountain was.... and "up"? Up did not sound good to me.
I went to Gramma and she held me and said that she wasn't fond of driving through the mountains either. I asked her to explain what a mountain was and she got that big book called a dictionary out again. We looked it up together. It said that a mountain is a land mass that projects conspicuously above its surroundings and is higher than a hill. What? Gramma laughed at me and said, "Okay, Buddy, I will dumb it down for you." Dumb? Did she just call me dumb?
No, she said that she would just explain it in simpler terms. She reminded me about those big rocks that Papa found in the woods and brought up for Gramma's gardens. She told me to imagine one that is so big that it looks like the top is siting in the clouds. Okay, now I am scared as I look out my window and see the mountains in the distance. She said that roads had been built so that cars and trucks could travel around them to get to the other side. I got in my kennel. I did not want to see this!
We made it through those mountains and then stopped for the night. Us dogs went out one last time and then we all slept. In the morning we could see where we were. This is the site we parked in. We all had to put on our harnesses and leads. Gramma said it was to keep us safe. I am okay with that, but Oscar wanted to get away.
This boat wasn't even in the water! I thought it looked pretty funny. Gramma thought someone might even be living in it. At first I thought that might be cool, until I realized how high off he ground it was. That would be like jumping off a mountain for me! I made a joke, did you get it?
Thursday, November 26, 2009
Remember that motor home I told you about? Well, we went on a trip. This word trip is a tricky one, let me tell you. Gramma got out that big book she calls a dictionary and we looked it up together. It had a lot of different meanings. Gramma says that the one we were looking for was "voyage or journey". She said it meant we were going to travel.
Oscar and Emmy were excited. They tell me that taking a trip is great fun. They tell me that we will get to see a lot of new stuff and get out at different places. I am not so sure I want to take a trip. I still remember getting into Gramma's car that day we went to get the motor home. I did not like it, no, I did not! There were all these other cars and trucks and they were all moving and we were moving and my head was spinning round and round and round. How can they think this will be fun?
Well, the day came and Gramma and Papa got up early. They got dressed and Gramma said we had to wear our harnesses. Mine is purple with white dots. I think it makes me look like a clown, don't you? I wish that you would have a talk with Gramma about this. I think I need something in leather. I am thinking black would be nice with some zippers and chains. Yes, that would be more to my liking!
Well, enough about the way I am dressed. Gramma was pretty smart and she brought along my favorite blankie and I snuggled up on it. I was glad to have something that smelled like me and Gramma, really I was. But.... I still felt a little queasy with all the movement. Queasy is another new word, it means that I was a little sick in my tummy. I felt like yakking up everything I ate, but I didn't.
We traveled for two whole days! We stopped to do our business and for Papa to put gas in the tank. He grumbled about how much it cost every time. The first night we stopped at a campground in a place called Tennessee. I will tell you about it tomorrow. I am still on Eastern Standard time and it feels like bedtime to me!
I have decided that I should take a trip to Minnesota soon. I am quite the seasoned traveler now. I think I will wait until Gramma has time to make a more suitable harness for me. I think that perhaps Gramma and I will make this trip to see you, just us two. What do you think of that? I am missing my boy on this Thanksgiving Day. So as I lay me down to sleep I am thinking of you my boy.
Love from your dog,
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
I am writing about another new word today. That word is bully. This is one of those words with different meanings. Gramma helped me look in the dictionary. It says that this word describes "one who is habitually cruel to others weaker than himself".
Gramma says that Oscar is a bully. Does he look like a bully? Well, I guess he kind of does in this picture. His eyes are glowing. He looks like some of those scary things that Gramma had up for Halloween. They were scary faces with a light inside them so that they glowed in the dark. Personally, I did not care much for Gramma's decor for that holiday. I tried to stay away from it all. She would laugh like a witch and scare us dogs out of a nice little nap. Not funny.
Okay, enough about that Halloween stuff. Emmy says it only happens once a year and I am very glad about that. But that has nothing to do with bullies. But....wait, maybe it does. I bet bullies like to play tricks on Halloween night. And...I bet they aren't the funny ones like Gramma plays.
Gramma says that Oscar is a bully. I think she might be right about that.
See this nice dog? His name is Buddy. Gramma says that he is an old guy. His people take him to do his business in this golf cart. He doesn't even have to go for a walk!
Gramma says that he has a kind and gentle spirit. She says she can see this in his eyes. Gramma knows about these things, you know. She is very wise.
Gramma was talking to Mr. Tom, Buddy's person and she came inside to grab her camera. She said "STAY!" to us dogs and Emmy and I did. Oscar ran out the door and right into Buddy's golf cart. He attacked Buddy. Buddy didn't do anything to Oscar. I saw the whole thing with my own eyes. Emmy and I were quite embarrassed by his behaviour. We did not want anyone to think that we liked this, because we did not!
Gramma grabbed Oscar and spanked him hard. I heard her tell him that he was a bad, bad boy! Then I heard her say, "Growl at me, mister, and you will sorely regret it!" I am still wondering what all that means, but we will look up those words another day.
I need my nap now, my boy. The next letter I write may be from another state! We are going on a road trip and I will have lots to share with you. Don't forget that you are my boy and I love you.
Your non-bully dog,
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
I am still working on my vocabulary. Hey, I even know what the word vocabulary means! A vocabulary is a group of words that I know the meaning of. Gramma says that if you have a big vocabulary it is easier to say things. Gramma likes words; Papa said so. He said that Gramma likes to use her words to tell stories. Gramma tells me stories some times. Does she tell you stories?
I know two new words that I want to tell you about today. Safe and secure are my new words. Safe means free from harm. I am safe when I am with Gramma and Papa. That means that nothing and nobody will hurt me. Did you know that some words have more than one meaning? This is very confusing to me. A safe can also be a box that you put things in that you don't want to lose. See what I mean? Confusing! Oscar tells me that I will be able to figure out what the word means by the way it is used in a sentence. What? Emmy says not to worry that I will get the hang of this vocabulary thing and that my boy will, too.
In the picture I am asleep on Gramma's leg. I felt very safe there on Gramma's leg. The flash on the camera woke me a little, but I went right back to sleep
See Oscar? He feels safe, too. Sometimes I play tricks on him when he is sleeping. I will get one of our toys and throw it on him with my mouth, then I will run and hide. It is great fun. Sometimes he will just go back to sleep and ignore me. Sometimes he will grab the toy and run from me, then we will play. But, sometimes, he gets really mad and growls loud and bites at me. I don't like it when he does that!
Secure is the other word that I know. This word means that I am not in danger. That is almost just like safe, don't you think? Gramma always tells us dogs that we are safe and secure because she loves us and she won't let anything hurt us. Did I tell you that I love Gramma?
Remember I told you that we got this thing called a motor home? Well here it is. I figured out why they call it a motor home. You can actually live in this thing. It has a bed to sleep in and a bathroom and a kitchen to cook in, with a table to eat on. It is on wheels and it has a motor so you can drive down the road. Get it? Motor.....home. Gramma says that I am quite clever. That means that I can figure things out. She is right, I am a pretty smart dog.
Gramma say that we will be hitting the road soon. That makes no sense at all, why would we hit the road? Emmy says it is an expression and means that we will get in the motor home and go on a trip. I must confess that I am not looking forward to it. I prefer the quiet life and staying home with Gramma and Papa. I think everyone should come see us. Oscar says that I should broaden my horizons. I will have to get back to you on that since I have no idea what that word horizon means.
I hope that you are learning lots of things in school. Gramma tells me that your mom says that you have a girlfriend. This is okay, I guess. She doesn't have a dog, does she? I don't know if I would like that. A girl is one thing..... but a girl with a dog.... I don't think so. Just remember that you are spoken for in the dog department, okay. Remember that I love you and don't forget that you are my boy.
Your faithful dog,
Sunday, November 1, 2009
I have learned a new word....humiliation. Do you see me as I write this? I am humiliated. That is when you are forced to wear your sister dog's costume. Costume, another new word. A costume is something you wear to pretend you are something other than what you are. Why people do this, well, that is a mystery to us dogs.
Do I look happy? No, I do not. I am supposed to a ballerina. Another new word! I do not know or even care to know this ballerina is. My friend, Don, betrayed me! He helped Gramma put this awful thing that Gramma called a tutu on me and then held me for a picture. I did not want to be seen by anyone in this, no, I did not!
Another costume. This is a hot dog. I would have run from Gramma, but this costume is hard to run in. Do you see this? I am enclosed in what is supposed to be a bun with a row of mustard and ketchup on my back. I am supposed to be the hot dog! Oscar told me that Gramma made this for him to wear two years ago at a Halloween party. He was not happy to wear it either. He told me that his breed is sometimes referred to as a wiener dog and a hot dog is a wiener. Oscar says that this is a good example of irony. Another new word!
Oh, please.... I can't even hike my leg to mark this trashcan!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Do you remember Kiley? She came to see me tonight. She held me and I really liked it. She only held me. She did not hold Oscar and she did not hold Emmy.... just me!
She came with her Gramma. Her Gramma and your Gramma are friends, you know. I call her Gramma Aunt Debbie. She comes over to our house all the time. I will tell you a secret. Aunt Debbie brings snacks to that cat that lives outside on our front porch. She thinks that us dogs do not know this, but we saw her through the window. She tried to get Kiley to feed that cat, but Kiley accidentally shook the lid off the can in the car. Boy, I wish I had been there. I would have eaten all the cat snacks. I tried one once and they are quite delicious!
Kiley gave us dogs some treats. I ran away with mine as soon as she gave it to me. I did not know Gramma was taking pictures. I would have shown you how I can sit pretty. I am getting a lot better at balancing. I practice all the time.
I am still not as good as Oscar, though, he will stand on his back legs forever!
I am glad that Kiley came over to our house tonight. She was fun...... but she said she was bored. Gee, how could she be bored....... I was here...... and I am cute .... don't you think so?
Kiley says she will be coming out here with her Gramma a lot. I bet she will like to play with you when you come for our annual visit. That is a new word for my vocabulary. Annual means once a year. I plan to have a very big vocabulary. Gramma says that you will be building your vocabulary, too.
Don't forget that I love you and miss you.
Your dog, Wall-E
Monday, October 5, 2009
Remember I told you about other dogs......... Well, it seems they are everywhere here in our park. I don't know if I like this. I like it when I am the only dog in the store with Gramma and the customers (that is those people who buy things in the store) pet me. Gramma says that I am a little ham and that I love attention. What is that supposed to mean. Don't you eat ham? I have seen Gramma cook this thing called ham and then everybody gets a plate and they eat the ham. I like this stuff called ham myself. It is quite tasty.....so why is she saying that I am a ham? We will have to get back to this issue later......
Just look at this big dog who is called Tank! Can you see how big he is?
Look at the size of his head! Look at that mouth! Why I believe he could fit my entire head in his mouth! This is the dog that Oscar went after, remember, I told you about this incident in a previous letter. I have been working on my vocabulary, can you tell?
Look here at these dogs.... all girl dogs. They are taking a walk with their person. You can't see their person, cause Gramma cut his head off. In the picture... not for real! That really little dog is Lily. See her jumping? She likes for Gramma to pick her up. She is smaller than Emmy! Gramma called her a Yorkie.
Gramma says that the black dog is a poodle named Lucy and that she is feisty. That means that she has a temper, Oscar told me that. He said that he has been called feisty before. I have heard Gramma call Oscar a lot of different names. She calls him spawn of satan a lot. Emmy says that this is no compliment and that he is being a bad boy when Gramma says this. She calls him a handsome devil, too, then she kisses him. I get so confused.... Emmy says that satan and devil are the same thing.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Did you know that other dogs live in our park? I try to be brave, really I do.........
I was looking out the window the other day. I like to watch people. Gramma has these things she calls curtains in front of the windows. I use my nose to push them to one side and I look out. I really like to look out when Gramma goes out. She talks to people. She likes to talk. Papa told me that. Papa is holding me in this picture. Do I look scared to you? Cause I was.........
I do not think I want to get to know this dog named Franklin. Oscar says he is not scared at all. He says there is not a dog big enough or mean enough to scare him. He means it, too. He went after this other dog named Tank and he wasn't scared. I saw the whole thing. That dog Tank was huge, I tell you, he was gigantic! Oscar just ran right up to him and he was ready for a fight.
I am thinking that Oscar might be the bravest dog I have ever met. I am glad that I live here with him, yes, I am. I am thinking of you today, my boy. I hope that you are having fun at school. I hope that there isn't anybody in your class that looks as mean as this dog named Franklin. I hope that you are not scared....... like I am. Don't worry about me, though. I have Gramma and Papa and Oscar. I guess I am one lucky dog, right? After all, I have the best boy in the whole world! I love you, don't forget.
Your dog, Wall-E
Friday, September 11, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
When will the season be over? What is the season anyway? Gramma keeps talking about the season. She says that when the season is over she will have more time to play with us dogs. I do not know what this season is, but I will be glad when it is over. Do you know she is talking about?
I asked Oscar and I asked Emmy. They tell me that it is hard to explain what the season is. They say that when there is snow on the ground and it is cold outside that Gramma is in the house a lot. They tell me that she keeps a fire going and cooks things that smell really good and that she drinks hot tea and writes on her computer. They tell me that it is wonderful because they get to snuggle next to her all day long!
I miss you today, my boy. Do you miss me? You haven't gotten another dog have you? I would not like that, no, I would not! Don't you forget that you are my boy and I love you.
Your dog, Wall-E
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Gramma told me that you and your mom were dog sitting yesterday! You sat on dogs? I hope they were very big dogs. Then Gramma told me that the dogs you were sitting on were Minnie and Molly!! Are you kidding me? They cannot be sat on by people, they would get hurt! I was shocked at your mom's behaviour and I told Emmy about it. Just look at her............ She said no way would sitting on dogs be a good thing! She told me that this is a great fear she has when she sees someone about to sit down when she is on the sofa. Her eyes got big and her ears went up. See? Well Oscar walked in while we were talking and he said we were dumb; that Gramma had not said that you and your mom were sitting on Molly and Minnie! He said that sitting means that you were taking care of them.
I am so relieved to hear this! I cannot tell you how afraid I was for Molly and Minnie. Gramma said that Grampa and Grandma had to go on a little trip and that they asked you to take care of them. Wow, I bet that made you feel pretty special that they trusted you with Molly and Minnie.
Hey, how come you didn't come and get me? I wanted to go help. It would have been great fun to see them again. I bet they wouldn't even recognize me since I am such a big dog now. Gramma says I am quite a homely little fellow! Homely is good, right?
I have made a new friend. He is what Gramma calls a camper. His name is Don and when he comes into the store I get to go out and see him....just me! He plays with me and picks me up. Gramma says that she is too old to rough house with me. I am not sure what that means, but she doesn't like it when I leap into the air and bite at her hands. Do you think that is this thing called rough house? I don't think Gramma is too old, do you?
I want to tell you about this really mean trick that Gramma played on me. Remember that she had a birthday? Well somebody gave her these things called balloons. They have these strings on them that hang down and they stay up at the top of the room. Well that fan they call a ceiling fan hit them and it made a lot of noise and scared me. I tell you I was scared out of my wits (I don't really know what wits are, but I heard it on a TV program and I like the sound of it). Well that was bad enough, but she tied a string around Oscar's neck and that balloon was going every where he went! See him? He didn't even care. I laughed and laughed. He looked so funny. He just looked at me and told me that I was easily amused. I do not know what any of that means, but he was sure funny. Gramma finally took it off and told Oscar that he was a good sport. He was playing ball and I think that is a sport....is that what she was talking about? She is still kind of hard to figure out, that Gramma of yours.
She laughed at Oscar, too. But....and I don't know why she did this...she tied that string around me!!!!!! That balloon FOLLOWED me everywhere I went. I ran and it ran! I jumped and it jumped! I could not get away and I did not like it; no, I did not. When I ran it made an awful noise and no matter how fast I went it would not leave me! Gramma laughed some more and I did not like it. Finally I ran into my kennel!
Guess what? That balloon could not get in! "Ha Ha Ha" I said to that silly balloon, "You cannot come into my kennel, so there!" But.........every time I tried to come out it would jump right back over my head. Gramma begged me to come out so that she could take my picture, but I refused and she had to take that hateful balloon away. I am not mad at her any more, but I did not let her pet me for many long minutes!
This has been a long letter, my boy, and I have grown sleepy. I hope that you will remember that you are my boy and that I love you.
Your dog, Wall-E
Saturday, August 1, 2009
I have been missing you a lot lately. Gramma and Papa are always so busy. When they get through with their work they are too tired to play with me. I like to run and jump high into the air! I really like to bite things, too. I have been getting into lots of trouble for chewing up things. Remember I told you that I chewed up Gramma's shoe? I destroyed the other shoe, too. She was not happy.....at all. I figured it wouldn't matter so much since the other shoe was all chewed up. She didn't see things my way, though. I got another spanking with what was left of the shoe. Boy, was she ever mad!
Papa felt sorry for me and he stopped working for a few minutes and gave me a really nice belly scratch while he talked to me.
Gramma took our picture......twice. She says she sees a tiny difference in the two pictures, but I don't.......do you? Papa wears these cool shirts now in my favorite color.....orange! I really like that color. I told you that didn't I? I like the way it sounds when Gramma says that word.
Monday, July 27, 2009
Did you know that Gramma had a birthday? Papa made a bid deal about it. He bought her a new computer and they had a party for her. But they left us dogs at home. They had all this food and we couldn't go. Gramma didn't even tell us who was supposed to be in charge! Papa said they must hurry and she didn't even tell us to be good and that she loved us!
I was pretty bummed out, I tell you. Since nobody was in charge I thought I would just do what ever I wanted to do. Oscar told me that she would play with us when she got home and probably give us a treat. But, no, I would not listen to him. Hey, he was not in charge! Emmy didn't say anything. She has not been feeling so good and she just went in my old kennel and took a nap.
Well, I was so mad at Gramma and I was playing and running and ........... I saw one of her shoes. It was the kind that she wears out to clean the pool and play in her garden. She never lets me play in her garden! She does not take me to the pool! And tonight she just left! She did not say that she loved me! I was mad, I tell you! I took that shoe and got up on the couch and I started to chew on it.
Oscar warned me that I would regret it later, but I did not care. I was mad at her, really, really mad! I chewed harder and I pulled and the shoe started to come apart. I spit pieces out and kept tearing that shoe apart. It felt good! I liked feeling it rip apart while I chewed it, so I kept chewing and tearing that shoe up!
Oh no, I hear them coming! I left the shoe on the couch and went to the door so that I could jump into the air when she came in. I was not mad any more, I wanted to see Gramma. I just knew she would be happy to see me and I was going to sit by her on the couch and she was going to tell Papa to get us dogs a treat. I was wagging my tail and I was so happy cause Gramma and Papa were coming in that door!
"Hi, my babies!" said Gramma, when she opened the door. "Come here, my babies and give me some kisses". We all went to her and she leaned down and we all got kissed and everything was happy in my world and .... then ....... she saw it.... "Did you do that?" Uh-oh. She was talking to me. I hung my head low and then I lay down on the floor as low as I could. I wanted to disappear, but she could still see me!