Saturday, September 10, 2011

Training Pads and Jealousy

Dear Gavin,

The puppy called Toni is making Gramma crazy! She will go outside with all of us dogs. She even pees while she is outside, but when she comes back in she pees in the floor! Gramma keeps a bucket full of bleach water and she mops and mops. All day long! She scolds the puppy called Toni. But, she just wags her silly tail.

Gramma told Papa that she was sick of mopping. Sick of it!!

So, she bought these puppy training pads. She mopped the floor and carefully spread one out right where the puppy called Toni likes to pee ........ under the table.

She went into the store and when she came back in, this is what she found. She was not happy. This is the second one that Toni chewed up. The first one was in about a thousand pieces. It was everywhere. Papa found it and cleaned it up. He scolded the puppy called Toni. He was laughing, though, so I don't think she believed him. Papa is not a very good scolder.

Toni is hard to scold. She will just look at you and wag her silly tail.

Okay, I have a confession to make. I am not proud of what I did. I was peeing and pooping in the floor, too. I did not think I would get caught, really, I didn't. I was very careful. I did not lift my leg, I squatted like a girl dog. Gramma knows things. Things like pee splatter patterns. She was already suspicious.

She told Papa that she could not believe that one little dog could have that much pee. She said that Toni liked to be outside most of the day. She knew it was not Emmy, because Emmy always tries to make it to the door and that she leaves a trail of dribbles. She said that it was not Oscar because he liked to lift his leg and aim at something and it would have been on the table leg. Then she said that she just knew it couldn't be me, because I was a good boy and wouldn't do that. I really felt bad when I heard her say that!

Then, this morning, it happened. She caught me! In the act of peeing, squatting like a girl dog! I was so ashamed. Gramma was very upset with me. She told me that she was so disappointed in my behaviour. I started to cry my ugly brown tears, but Gramma said that my tears did not move her. She said that I was supposed to be setting a good example for the puppy called Toni. I hung my head and went to my kennel.

"Oh no you don't!" said Gramma, "Get out here and face the music, mister!". What? I do not hear any music, just Gramma fussing at me. Why does she say these things? She made me watch her scrub the floor where I peed and then sniff it. Really, she made me sniff the clean floor. It smelled like lemons in a pool. She told me to remember that smell and to never pee on her floor again. Gramma is a little scary when she is mad. She did not force the puppy called Toni to sniff the clean floor.

After the sniffing of the floor she made me apologize to Toni. Toni was sitting on the couch attacking her own tail. She would wag it and then try to catch it and bite it. She isn't all that smart. So I told her that I was sorry for making Gramma think that all the pee was hers. She didn't even look at me, she was too busy with her tail. After that, Gramma picked me up and held me. I looked her straight in the eye (I knew better than to look anywhere else). Gramma told me again that she was disappointed and that from now on I have to be on my best behaviour. Then she told me that she knew why I had acted so badly.

She said that I was jealous. "AM NOT!" I said. She reminded me that I was the new puppy once and that Oscar had been jealous of me. Really? I just thought he hated me. He growled at me and nipped me quite a few times. He would not let me have any food until he got all he wanted. Gramma said that he was jealous of all the attention she gave to me when I was new here. Maybe she is right. I really don't like it when she holds the puppy called Toni. I hate it when Papa plays with Toni. Maybe I am jealous. This Gramma of yours really does know everything!

I hope that you are having a good day and staying out of trouble. Your mom is a little bit scary, too, when she is mad. Papa says there is something about the women in our family. Just try to be good ... and whatever you do, don't pee in the floor!

Your jealous dog, Wall-E