Saturday, May 28, 2011

Moles and Obsessions

Dear Gavin,

I keep waiting for the air to become warm, cause I know that means you will be coming soon. But, I have to tell you it has been downright cold at night. I don't mind cold air so much. I sleep next to Papa, under the covers, and we stay all nice and toasty warm. The thing I don't like is thinking it will be longer until I see you.

I think it is supposed to be warm by now. I heard Gramma say so. Gramma was busy all day yesterday. She only came into the house to let us dogs out every few hours. Yesterday morning, the most disturbing thing happened. Gramma was brushing her teeth and us dogs were waiting on the love seat for her. Oscar and I always try to get to the warm spot she leaves first. Oscar was going to beat me again, I thought. But all of a sudden he jumped up and started barking his warning bark. He was mad, let me tell you! The hair on his back was standing straight up! Have you ever seen this happen? When Oscar and Emmy get mad or scared, a line of hair straight down the middle of the backs stands on end. What? Oh, Gramma says this also happens to me. Well, as you know, I cannot see my own back.

But, I digress. I like this new word 'digress' and have been waiting so long to use it. It means that I got a little off subject. So, as I was saying, Oscar jumped up and I thought I was going to get the warm spot until I looked up to see what had him so riled up ............ there was a man close up to our window looking in!!!!!!! Emmy and I joined in to let Gramma know that we had an intruder on our front porch. It was still early in the morning. Gramma's computer was still open on the table beside us. Gramma takes her computer into the store when she goes in to open it up and talk to all the campers.

Gramma came into the living room and she was still in her nightshirt, the great big t-shirt that your Uncle Jeff gave her from his work. She saw this intruder and the others with him. She was not very happy, either. She went back to her room and got dressed, then she went to the door and asked these people what they wanted .......... after she called Papa on her cell phone to tell him that we were being invaded by imbeciles. I am not sure what that means. Neither does Oscar, but we don't think it is good. After that, we hardly saw Gramma all day and she was so tired last night, she didn't even play with me before we got into bed. I sure hope that you will be here soon. A young dog like me needs to play!

Do you see this creature? Papa found it in the pool skimmer and brought it up to show us. Oscar and Emmy knew what it was and so did Papa. Do you know what this creature is? It is a mole. He digs tunnels under ground. Sometimes we see the dirt where one has been. It makes Papa crazy when he is mowing. He buys these stick things that make smoke to scare the mole away. Gramma says it is an obsession of his. I think this means he really likes doing it.

This mole drowned in the pool. Gramma said the water temperature was too low to be swimming. Wonder why this mole was swimming? I have never been swimming. I am not that fond of being wet. Gramma makes us dogs have a bath once a month ........ is this an obsession of Gramma's? Emmy tells me that she went into a mole hole once when she lived in Minnesota and pulled the mole out! We have agreed that moles are really ugly creatures. I was wondering, though, would Gramma bathe this mole and cut his toenails if he lived with us? Oscar says I am being silly. Gramma says that I am curious.

Whatever I am, I am always your dog first.

Your curious, silly dog ............. Wall-E

Friday, May 20, 2011

Toenails, She Wants To Cut My Toenails!

Dear Gavin,

I must tell you that I am feeling a little jealous seeing the picture of you and Kiley with Laila. You look so cozy there with her. You have not forgotten me, have you? Gramma says that boys never forget their first dogs. How does she know this to be true? I will admit that I have not found anything that Gramma does not know so far, but how can she know so much?

I saw that Papa filled the pool with water, so that means that it won't be much longer until I see you, right? I see other people all the time and that is nice; but it is you that I want to see the most. I like your mom, too. And I love Gramma, but they are girls and it is just not the same. Only you can understand that.

Gramma has been stalking me for two days with the toenail clippers. She is obsessed with the idea of clipping my nails. I am perfectly happy with them the way they are. Why must she insist on clipping them? She says that they are too long and that I will feel much better after having them cut. No, I think I will be quite stressed after such an ordeal. It is so scary to have those clippers around my nails. What if it hurts? Oscar tells me that once Papa clipped his nail into the quick. Quick? What is a quick? I thought quick meant fast. Oscar says that this is part of the nail that has feelings and it will actually bleed!

His bled. He says it was very traumatizing. So traumatizing that even the sight of those clippers causes him great anxiety. Emmy says he is just a big baby and only carries on so that Gramma will hold him and kiss him. He tries to act like he doesn't like it when Gramma holds him and calls him her handsome devil, but I know better. Sometimes Gramma will pick up his paw and ask if she can clip his nails. He will howl and cry and she will pick him up and hold him. I think this is their special thing! Like my special thing is helping Gramma make the bed. I am so smart. Gramma told me so.

Gramma clipped Emmy's nails last night. She just sat there and let her. Sometimes I just want to bite her! She is always so perfect. Gramma told me to watch and she even let me smell the clippers. I will admit that I smelled no blood and Emmy was fine, but I still would not allow Gramma to clip my nails. Gramma was telling Papa all of this and I was listening. Before I knew what was happening ......... she cut my nail! Okay, it didn't hurt, but I still jumped down lickety split before she could trick me again.

I suppose Laila, the boxer, is okay with having her nails clipped. She is, after all, a girl. I will never understand them, will you?

Your boy dog, Wall-E

Monday, May 9, 2011

Why Do I Need A Bath??

Dear Gavin,

I am confused. Really. Gramma mowed grass yesterday and today. I was good. I did not roll in the fresh clippings until my white hair turned green. I did not go near the bag that held all the poop Gramma removed from our yard. I did not leap into the air and bounce off the side of Gramma's leg causing her pain. I did none of these things. I was good, I tell you. My behaviour was very close to perfect! So, why, I ask you, did Gramma insist on giving me a bath today?

Gramma actually missed the monthly washing of us dogs last month. Emmy wanted to remind her, but Oscar and I threatened to tell on her for getting out of the fence and show Gramma where the opening was. Gramma found it anyway, so I guess it was just a matter of time before we would have that bath ............

Oscar just closes his eyes and lets Gramma bath him. Really, there isn't much he could do to stop her. When Gramma decides it is time for a bath ..... it is time for a bath. Gramma says that Oscar was starting to smell like a hound. I thought he was a hound. But, Gramma says that if you sleep in her bed you will also have a bath.

Emmy likes a bath. Her hair gets curly when it gets wet. She likes for Gramma to hold her all wrapped up like a baby. Oscar and I prefer to shake and run round and round in circles. You should try it, it is fun.

After I run in circles and am almost dry I snuggle up on this blanket. Do you remember this blanket? You gave it to me when I was a little puppy. You told me that it was your blanket when you were a little baby. It doesn't smell like you anymore. Gramma washed it. She sure does like to wash stuff, doesn't she? She sat down with me tonight after I ran round and round in circles. She picked me up and held me. She told me that I was a good boy for not fighting with her while she washed me. That made me feel better. Then she told me that you hated to bathe, too! She told me that you did not want to take a shower while she was there and that she had to make you get into the shower and then she had to make you use shampoo and soap. Then, she said you would not get out of the shower!!

Gramma says that when you talked later you admitted to her that the shower made you feel good! She said that you told her that you didn't know why you hated to get in. This is amazing! I feel exactly the same way! Gramma scrubbed me until I was squeaky clean and I have to admit that I feel great! We are alike, you and I. I am missing you tonight, my boy. But, the weather is getting warmer every day and I know I will see you soon. I will make a pact with you. I won't give Gramma a hard time about my bath if you won't give your mom a hard time about your shower. Deal? Okay. Don't forget that I love you!!

Your deal making dog, Wall-E