Friday, July 29, 2011

Toni Got In Trouble

Dear Gavin,

Do you see this? This used to be a package of napkins .......... We tried to tell her, but she simply would not listen. Gramma was working in the store and the rest of us dogs were napping when I heard a rustling sound. I came out of my kennel and this is what I saw. I sniffed and sure enough I could smell the smell of that puppy called Toni. She had ripped the plastic off and pulled all the napkins out. She even shredded some of those napkins!

Oscar chuckled and told me that this reminded him of some of the shenanigans I used to get into. I am sure I never, ever shredded a package of napkins. I think Oscar is just getting old and his memory is not what it used to be.

As you, yourself know, Gramma does not like shenanigans. I heard her opening the door from the store and I went to my kennel, lest she think I was responsible for this mess ......

TONI COME HERE. I heard Gramma shout. Oscar and Emmy were watching from their basket and I was watching from my kennel. She went prancing over to Gramma without a care in the world and looked up at her. She didn't even look scared or sorry for what she had done!

Gramma took her to the mess and asked her if she had done this dreadful deed. She tried to jump into Gramma's arms, but Gramma was having none of that. I could have told her that would not work, but she needs to learn this on her own ............. just like I did. She got a swat from the fly swatter and another one later when she thought it would be a good idea to attack the broom while Gramma was cleaning up.

She does not seem to mind at all that she was punished! Just look at her. She even told us that Gramma did not swat very hard. This dog is not very smart.

I guess I like her okay now. We have been playing together and she is tireless, let me tell you. She can run as fast as me and her legs are freaky long. We play fight, too. I taught her how to sit pretty. I know you are very proud of me for doing this. Gramma says that I am a very smart dog. I am smart because I have the best boy in the world, right?

Your smart dog, Wall-E

Thursday, July 21, 2011

I Am Coming Undone

Dear Gavin,

This new puppy called Toni will be my undoing! I have managed to convince her that she is not allowed in my kennel. Can you believe that Gramma suggested I let her have my kennel to sleep in. That is where I draw the line! It is true that Oscar and Emmy sometimes take a little nap with me in my kennel .......... but it is by invitation only. That means that you can't come in unless I say so! And I do not say that the puppy called Toni can enter my kennel. I have already nipped her to let her know and she is staying away from my kennel that holds my treasures.

This puppy called Toni has already done so many bad things. She has chewed on Papa's shoes! I shudder to think that she could chew on your old shoes that I sleep with when I need comfort. She walks all over the tables in the living room and yesterday she knocked a lamp down. Did she get in big trouble? No. Can you believe it?

Gramma was hanging out clothes yesterday and she saw this puppy called Toni digging a hole!! She dug until she had water in the hole and the mud was flying everywhere. Gramma hollered, "NO, Toni, BAD GIRL!!!!!" I got out of the way, so I could watch. I must confess that this was making me quite happy, since she had already gotten me in trouble when she smeared mud on my back. This crazy puppy called Toni stopped, and still standing in the mud hole, she just looked at Gramma with her goofy look. She was not scared at all, she even wagged her tail. Then she just started digging again. Gramma clapped her hands and asked this silly puppy if she had a death wish. Boy, I was really enjoying this. Then she gave her a shake and told her no again. Gramma covered the hole with a big steeping stone and then she looked at me and told me she was sorry for scolding me about the mud! She said she knew it was not my fault. Oh, my boy, was I ever happy!

Just look at this puppy called Toni. Her face is all muddy and she just had a bath! Look at the arm of the chair. Gramma was not very happy with this puppy called Toni.

Look at Oscar's eye! She swiped him with her muddy paw. Don't worry, he is okay, Gramma cleaned his eye.

Okay, I did play with her. But, I did not have fun! It just looks like I was having fun, that's all.

This all happened yesterday and we all got a bath last night. Then, this morning while Gramma was outside painting a sign and Papa forgot to latch the gate ........... this puppy called Toni got into the bathroom trash can! Oscar does this sometimes when Papa fails to latch the gate that keeps us dogs out of the bedroom and bathroom. This makes Gramma mad. She told Papa that this is the only thing she expects him to do in the morning. She said an ounce of prevention equals a pound of cure. Why does she say these things?

Emmy told me that it just means that it only takes a second for Papa to secure the gate, but it takes 10 minutes for Gramma to clean up the mess. Well, let me tell you, this puppy called Toni made a really big mess! She ripped the liner to shreds and tore up everything into tiny pieces. When Gramma saw this I thought Toni would get a swat with the fly swatter for sure, but Gramma was mad at Papa!!

I was listening when Gramma read those papers from the animal shelter and I heard her say that we have 30 days to try this puppy called Toni in our house and if things don't work out we can take her back. It has only been three days and I volunteer to ride along to take her back!!

Do we really have to have her the whole 30 days? I wish I could see you, my boy. Together we could figure this out. I played with two boys yesterday. Alan came into the store to see the puppy called Toni, but he liked me the best. Really, he did. Then Benjamin came to see me with his Papa. I know his Papa, his name is Crazy Tom (I think that might be his Indian name). I jumped into the air and gave Benjamin a kiss! He reminded me of you.

I must go nap now. This puppy called Toni is very tiring. I will be dreaming of you, my boy. Don't forget that I love you.

Your best dog, Wall-E

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

I Am Not Jealous ..... Really, I Am Not!

Dear Gavin,

This new puppy got in the bed with Gramma and Papa last night. I did not like it one bit .... no, I did not! Papa was playing the game he usually plays with me with that puppy called Toni. I hate her. I do, I am not kidding. She is annoying. Always running and jumping and playing. I just hate her. She will come up to me and try to engage me in play. She will hold her paw up and wave it at me. I just walk away, but she follows me and won't leave me alone.

She slept all night, right in our bed with all of us dogs. I know she is a dog, too, but this was our bed with Gramma and Papa. I do not want to share. I want it to just be us three dogs. I was quite content, I tell you! Gramma told Toni that she was a good girl just because she slept all night. Whatever, I sleep all night all the time. Does she tell me I am good just for doing what I am supposed to do anyway? No!

Toni, the puppy with puppy breath peed in the floor! Oh boy, I thought she was in for it, but Gramma just mopped it up and showed it to her and told her "no-no, we go outside to pee". If I pee in the floor she scolds me! Gramma was mopping and Toni put her paws on the side of the bucket to look in and Gramma said she was so cute. She called Papa to look at Toni look at the mop water. Disgusting! It is not like she caught a frisbee, is it? Then , she went outside and peed and Gramma clapped and petted her like crazy and told her what a good little girl she was. I said big deal for her .... I pee outside all the time. Then when the stupid little dog with puppy breath came in the house she was running and couldn't stop. She slid into the water dish and tipped it up and was wet all over. Gramma laughed!!! I am not kidding, she laughed. She picked Toni up and showed her to Papa.

Oscar and Emmy have been making fun of me and calling me jealous. I am not jealous! I just do not like this dog called Toni with puppy breath, that's all. Oscar says that I used to act just like this puppy. Did I? I do not remember being so annoying, I just wanted to play, that's all. I was never so annoying, was I? I don't like seeing this dog in Gramma's lap or in Papa's lap, that's all. I am glad that you are not here. I do not think I could bear it if you held this dog called Toni with puppy breath. Everybody keeps telling her she is so cute. I do not find her to be cute at all. She is just an annoying little dog with long legs and puppy breath. Oh, about the puppy breath ..... what is the big deal with that?

All puppies have puppy breath and I had puppy breath when I was a puppy, so big deal! I want to be the youngest dog here! But I am not jealous, I tell you. Really, I am not! I wish I could just go stay with my boy, that's all.

Your NOT jealous dog, Wall-E

Monday, July 18, 2011

Puppy Breath

Dear Gavin,

Gramma has been going on and on about puppy breath and how great it is. She has been telling Papa that we need a puppy. She says that we need this puppy for me. What? Why do I need a puppy? I am perfectly happy being the youngest dog here. Why, oh why would I want a puppy to come in and take Gramma and Papa's love from me? They already tried this with that bloodhound, Zeke, and we all know how well that turned out.

Gramma has been showing Papa pictures of puppies and asking what he thinks. Papa and I will look and Papa will say, "We don't need another dog." I could not agree more! But, last week Gramma saw a picture of a puppy right here in our city and she looked like Emmy. Papa was quite taken with the image of this dog and when Gramma told him that the animal shelter was over crowded, he went to take a look at this little dog that held such a likeness to our Emmy. This dog was said to be a mix between a dachshund and a chihuahua ............ a chiweenie! Her face looked like Emmy, but her ears were sticking up like mine.

I suppose you know that he came home with her. She is kind of cute. She doesn't look as much like Emmy in person as she did in the picture, though. She has puppy breath and Gramma is all smitten with her, letting her give her lots and lots of kisses. I confess that I do not like it when Gramma or Papa hold this new dog with her puppy breath. Gramma is calling her Toni. Because we have Oscar and Emmy, she said we need a Toni. How come I am not named after an award?

Gramma reminded me that I was named by my boy and that I am the only dog here with his very own boy. I am special. Gramma calls me Wall-E, the wonder dog! Okay, I feel much better now. I have my very own blog so that I can write letters to you. And Toni is my new playmate. She is kind of cute, don't you think?

She is taller than me, this new dog named Toni with puppy breath. Her legs are freakishly long ..... Gramma said so. She can jump really high and she chases me! Gramma says her bark is as high pitched and annoying as mine! I have to teach her things. Like how to catch a frisbee and how to take Oscar's ball and not get bitten. Emmy does not care for this new dog. She won't even sniff her puppy breath!

I must go now, I heard Gramma say something about our monthly bath and that Toni arrived just in time ............. I think it is time to show her some hiding places, don't you?

I will be thinking about you as I get my bath tonight. I have not forgotten our deal to to behave while we get our baths and showers.

Your faithful dog, Wall-E