Monday, July 27, 2009

Did You Do That?

Dear Gavin,

Did you know that Gramma had a birthday? Papa made a bid deal about it. He bought her a new computer and they had a party for her. But they left us dogs at home. They had all this food and we couldn't go. Gramma didn't even tell us who was supposed to be in charge! Papa said they must hurry and she didn't even tell us to be good and that she loved us!

I was pretty bummed out, I tell you. Since nobody was in charge I thought I would just do what ever I wanted to do. Oscar told me that she would play with us when she got home and probably give us a treat. But, no, I would not listen to him. Hey, he was not in charge! Emmy didn't say anything. She has not been feeling so good and she just went in my old kennel and took a nap.

Well, I was so mad at Gramma and I was playing and running and ........... I saw one of her shoes. It was the kind that she wears out to clean the pool and play in her garden. She never lets me play in her garden! She does not take me to the pool! And tonight she just left! She did not say that she loved me! I was mad, I tell you! I took that shoe and got up on the couch and I started to chew on it.

Oscar warned me that I would regret it later, but I did not care. I was mad at her, really, really mad! I chewed harder and I pulled and the shoe started to come apart. I spit pieces out and kept tearing that shoe apart. It felt good! I liked feeling it rip apart while I chewed it, so I kept chewing and tearing that shoe up!

Oh no, I hear them coming! I left the shoe on the couch and went to the door so that I could jump into the air when she came in. I was not mad any more, I wanted to see Gramma. I just knew she would be happy to see me and I was going to sit by her on the couch and she was going to tell Papa to get us dogs a treat. I was wagging my tail and I was so happy cause Gramma and Papa were coming in that door!

"Hi, my babies!" said Gramma, when she opened the door. "Come here, my babies and give me some kisses". We all went to her and she leaned down and we all got kissed and everything was happy in my world and .... then ....... she saw it.... "Did you do that?" Uh-oh. She was talking to me. I hung my head low and then I lay down on the floor as low as I could. I wanted to disappear, but she could still see me!

She went over to the couch and she saw it all. "Look at this, just look at this!" she said. "Wall-E, you are in big trouble!" "I have had it with your shenanigans, mister. Come her to me, now." I ran, I hid under that big table.

"Look at what that dog did!" she said to Papa. Then she grabbed that big piece of the shoe and she crawled under that big table and she spanked me with it!!! She was mad! I think she was madder than I was when I chewed the shoe up. Gramma is scary when she is mad! I will not be making her mad again, no, I will not.
After Gramma threw the shoe and all the pieces away and cleaned up she called me to come and have a talk. I did not want to, but Oscar said it was best to just go get it over with. He said you never can get out of having the talk. So I went and got in her lap. She told me that she still loved me, but that she could not afford to keep replacing shoes. I am not sure what that means, but I just kept looking at her. She likes it when you look at her while she is talking to you. If you don't look at her, she will hold your face and make you, then she will tell you to pay attention. Pay? I do not have any money!
It is all over now. She keeps buying me toys and I really should just chew on my own stuff. She is right about that. Emmy said that I let my temper get the better of me. I have no idea what that even means. She likes to try to talk like Gramma. I bet she doesn't even know what it means. Do you know? Let me know if you do and I will say it to her one day. I can pretend I am smart, too, you know!
I miss seeing you. I would not have gotten into trouble if you had been here. You would have helped me hide it, wouldn't you? You are the best boy any dog ever had and I love you..... don't forget that, okay?
Your dog,

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Dear Gavin,
It has been a strange week here at Gramma and Papa's house. Gramma has been really crabby. Some of these people that camp are making Gramma say strange things! She said she felt like pulling all of her hair out! This scares me! When I get scared.........I hide.

Why would Gramma pull her hair out? What would that look like? Would it scare me? These are things that I need to know!

This is where I like to hide........ under the table. I sometimes take Oscar's ball with me, you know, just in case I want to chew on something. Gramma took this picture of me. I wasn't sure what she was doing until I saw that flash. Oscar told me to try to look more dignified. I do not know if I did it. Do you think I am dignified? What is dignified, any way?

I thought I was in big trouble here. I would not show my face to Gramma. Can you see me? I can only see with one eye. See that? I am hiding really good. She always finds me, though. She is really sneaky, this Gramma of yours. She has found all of my hiding places! Guess what else she does? She will pretend that she is going to give me a treat and then she will show me something that I have chewed up! I think that this is very unfair of her to trick me like that!

Emmy has hurt her back again. I heard Papa and Gramma talking and they think I might have done it! I will admit that I do like to run and tackle her to the ground. Gramma says that I must stop! Papa even used his mean voice and told me to lay off of it. I am confused about that..... lay off of what? Gramma told Papa to quit scolding me. She said that I am just a puppy and that I don't know my own strength!

I am not a puppy anymore! I am full grown, I tell you. Gramma is right about one thing, though. I am very strong! You will be very surprised when you see me again and see how high I can jump! I am fast, too! Gramma says things like "not so fast, there, buddy" to me all the time.

Come to think of it, going fast is one of those things that the campers do that she does not like. One man told Gramma to shut up this weekend and boy did she get mad. She wrote a letter to some body about it. She was talking to herself while she wrote it. She kept saying "tell me to shut up". I am glad I am not that person!

So, I will tell you this. Do not ever tell your mom to shut up. I do not want her to write a letter to your boss! Remember to be a good boy.........and that you are MY boy. I love you.

Your dog,

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Papa Has New Shoes and Heroes

Dear Gavin,
See Papa's new shoes? He made a great big deal about making me sniff these shoes and telling me that I must not chew on them. Does he think I am dumb or something? Gramma already told me that I must NEVER chew on shoes again. It is true that I never chewed on her shoes. I must tell you that she scares me with that fly swatter. That thing hurts. I have seen her kill some flies with it. It is truly frightening. Oscar is even afraid of that thing. She does get a wicked gleam in her eye when she is holding that thing, although I admit I have never seen her swat Emmy.
This is Papa's old shoe......well, it was new.......until I chewed up the back of it. Hey, I did not even touch the other one. How was I supposed to know that he couldn't wear them like this? You can see that he would still be able to put his foot in it and ties those strings. I must confess that the strings aren't as long as they used to be....... I kind of chewed on it......... just a little.

So, I get it and I promise that I will leave shoes alone. Gramma bought me some toys and I am okay with not being able to chew shoes.

Gramma is sick. She says her ear hurts and that she is dizzy. I am sad that she is sick, but I am glad that she is sitting on the couch........ holding me. She must really feel bad, she doesn't even want to go out to her garden! That's okay by me, I like it when sits in here with us dogs.

We were sitting here perfectly happy. Gramma was watching TV and us dogs were catching a nap. This truck and a camper came into the parking lot. I am used to that happening and I don't even bark any more, but they were driving too fast.... Gramma calls it speeding. This speeding makes Gramma angry, very angry. I have heard her talk to theses speeders and tell them that there are children and pets here in our park and to either slow down or get out! She is serious about this speeding thing, too. Anyway, she went into the store where this new speeder had come in. He was very loud and he was talking with a mean voice to Gramma!

Oscar and I leaped to the floor and ran to the door of the store. We do not like people who talk mean to Gramma! Oscar said that if she opened that door we were going to bite this man. He told me to bite into one leg and he would grab the other one. He cautioned me to bite above the shoe so that my teeth would hurt more. He also told me to not let go until Gramma told me to. I was ready, I tell you, I wasn't even scared. We barked as loud and as mean as we could to let this mean talking man know that we were right behind that door to protect Gramma. The mean talking man told Gramma that he had called her this morning and that she made a reservation for him. Gramma told him that she did not talk to him and asked him if he was in the right park, she even called the lady at the other campground for him. He was in the wrong park. He didn't even say sorry to Gramma and we heard a loud thud........ I was ready to grab this man's leg and not let go. He went out the door and got in his truck and you will not believe this....
he was speeding again.

Gramma called the other campground lady back and told her that this guy was a jerk. She told her that he actually kicked the counter in our store.... that was the loud thud that we heard! I really wanted to bite that man and I am sorry that I did not get the chance. Emmy was even ready to help us bite the man and all three of us are still upset about it. Okay, I have to tell you this. Don't tell any body else, okay? I kind of peed on myself a little when that mean talking man kicked the counter. Gramma cleaned it up and told me that it was okay, that she would never let that man hurt me!

Hurt me? I was going to save her! I am a big dog now with big dog teeth and she can count on me. She needs to know this...... will you tell her for me? I hope so, cause I want to be a hero. Oscar says that a hero is some one who saves some one else. I think being a hero would be good, don't you?

I am calmer now and I think I need a nap! Be a good brave boy and don't forget that I love you!

Your dog,

Monday, July 6, 2009

Things I Really Don't Like

Dear Gavin,
I want to tell you about some things that I really don't like. I don't know why Gramma has these things, but I really don't like them!
This is what Gramma calls the vacuum cleaner. I have many objections to this machine........
1. It is loud, let me tell you! If you are taking a nap when she drags this thing out it will ruin it!
2. Gramma seems to like it a lot. She says that it gets rid of all the hair that I shed. Me? I shed? What does that mean? I don't have that much hair and she combs it all the time. What can she be talking about? I do not know!
3. This machine can suck your whole tail into it! It tried to eat me up and Gramma thought it was funny! Oscar says that she has done this to him, too, and that is why he stays out of her way when she is playing with this thing calls a vacuum.
This is called watermelon. Gramma was eating this and Emmy got really excited. She said, "I love watermelon!!" So, of course, I stood in line for a taste. Emmy was all grabby and tried to take Oscar's taste and her taste. I was a gentleman and waited patiently for my taste. I was excited to taste this thing called watermelon. I thought that it must be really good because Emmy was so happy to see Gramma cut it open. So, Gramma has my taste and before I could open my mouth.......Emmy grabbed it. "No fair!", both me and Oscar said to her. So, Gramma told Emmy to back away, that it was not her turn. She called her greedy. What is greedy? It must be a bad thing to be greedy because it made Emmy feel bad. Anyway, I finally got my taste. I was cold and wet and......... I did not like it, no, I did not! I spit it out and Gramma laughed at me! Emmy ate it, cause Gramma told her she could. I was so sad that Gramma went and got me one of my favorite bacon treats.

I am missing you today, my boy. Gramma tries to play with me, but it is just not the same. You need to come and see me again. A dog needs his boy! Don't forget that you are my boy and I love you!

Your dog,