Monday, June 21, 2010
You are not going to believe this! Gophers have invaded us dog's yard!! I do not know what this animal called a gopher is, but, I do know that Gramma and Papa do not like them. Papa went to town and bought some gopher bombs. I was very concerned about this. Aren't bombs used to blow things up? Gramma told Papa that if he scared the gophers out of the far field that they might just try to come closer ......... and that is exactly what happened.
Seems that these gophers like to dig tunnels under the lawn and then pop out where ever they choose. They leave little piles of dirt where they tunnel and then the ground above the tunnel is soft and feels funny when you walk on it. Gramma is none too happy about the evidence of gophers in our yard. She said it made mowing harder and that these little thieves are getting way to close to her vegetable garden. She said the little rodents better not start making tunnels there!
Well, today Emmy started digging and when I asked her what she was doing she said she was going to put a stop to this tunnel nonsense once and for all. Emmy is very brave, I tell you! She is planning on a trip into the tunnel!! I was quite frightened for her well being and started to bark excitedly. This alerted Gramma and she came out and saw what Emmy was doing. I am afraid that my actions caused Emmy to get into trouble with Gramma. Gramma scolded her and told her to stop this very instant. Emmy dug a little more and then Gramma used her stern voice. Emmy came in. She was very hot and thirsty with her tongue hanging out and then Gramma saw Emmy's paws.
Emmy paws were caked with mud and grass clippings. Gramma was really unhappy about that. I have a feeling that Emmy will be having a bath before bedtime. Gramma reminded Emmy that she had just had a manicure. I am not sure what that is. Does it hurt? Will she have to get another one? Gramma went back into the store.
Emmy told Oscar that she had made good headway into the gopher hole and that he should continue a little farther next time he went out. He agreed that this would be the right thing to do. Then he told her that she was smaller and that she would have to go down the gopher hole and GET THE GOPHER! I looked at them both and asked what in the world they were thinking. Emmy is old and she has had back surgery! Suppose her back goes into a spasm and she is in that tunnel and can't get out? I am so worried about this, I will not be able to sleep a wink.
I have decided that I must go out every time either of them do and bark and bark to alert Gramma. I must stop this kidnapping of the gopher. Do gophers bite? Never mind I do not want to find out! Oscar said I was just a nervous Nellie. Great, now I need to find out what a Nellie is.
I will be so glad when you get here with Rocky. I hope that Rocky will be able to help me keep Emmy safe from this gopher.
Your nervous dog, Wall-E
Saturday, June 19, 2010
Gramma has been outside lately more than she has been inside! She is always pulling up weeds! Sometimes she has ants crawling on her when she comes in and once us dogs even saw a tick in her hair!! Us dogs offered to let her use our tick medicine, but she grabbed that tick and smooshed him between her fingernails until she heard a satisfying click. We were all impressed. Us dogs do this with our teeth when we catch the little varmints in our fur. I was really surprised that Gramma knew how to do this.
Your mom called Gramma and asked for Aunt Debbie's phone number. First she told Gramma that you were not coming here to see us this summer. Gramma was all sad and said that she was missing you and she also told your mom that I would be really upset. But after she gave your mom Aunt Debbie's number she knew it was all a trick. Gee, does your mom really think she can outsmart Gramma? Gramma whispered in my ear and told me that she knew in her heart that you would be coming to see us. Gramma knows these things.
Gramma has been weeding the gardens because you are coming. I do not know why. Your mom will not be impressed and I doubt that you will care about the gardens, so why is she doing this? She keeps mumbling about the dirt that Papa brought her. She said it was bad dirt and that she had asked for clean dirt. Oscar says that is a contradiction of terms. I don't even want to know what that means. I am confused though ........ how can dirt be clean? Emmy thinks that it has something to do with weeds and Papa said that he thought he was bringing her some wildflowers. I guess Papa was confused, too. Gramma threw all those on a burn pile.
So, your mom called Gramma back and wanted to know why Aunt Debbie didn't answer her call and why Papa wasn't answering his phone. Gramma told her that Aunt Debbie would call her back if she left a message and probably didn't recognize her number. Then she told her that Papa was probably on the tractor or the mower or was using some loud tool. So, your mom said that she was trying to surprise Gramma and come on Gramma's birthday. See ............ Gramma was right. I tell you, Gramma knows everything!
Our cat Smokey is feeling a lot better. Aunt Debbie checked her over today and found that one of the cuts on her chin was not healing, so she put some medicine on it. Smokey didn't even scratch Gramma while she held her, so she must know that Aunt Debbie and Gramma are trying to help her. Emmy saw this and offered to go lick the wounds again, but Gramma wants the medicine to stay on for a while.
I am really excited to know when you will be here. I can count the days now and get everything ready. I will get to meet your new dog, Rocky. I like the way that sounds. Rocky and Gavin. Gavin and Rocky. No, I like Gavin and Wall-E better. Gavin, Wall-E and Rocky. Okay, that works; as long as my name comes before his. Oscar says that he is not looking forward to a visit from Rocky. He says that he plans to let Rocky know right away that he is the boss of all of the dogs in this house. This does not sound good. I hope he isn't planning to fight. That will make me very nervous and I will no doubt disgrace myself and pee on the floor if this happens. Emmy has been talking to Oscar about his behaviour towards other dogs and I am hoping she will be able to persuade him to play nice.
I will go now and dream about you, my best boy, my only boy. Don't forget that I loved you first!
Your dog, Wall-E
Monday, June 14, 2010
I have a sad and scary story to tell you. Remember that gray cat that lives on Gramma's front porch? Remember, I told you that I was afraid of her a long time ago? Well, I am not afraid anymore. She is okay, she never bothers us dogs and she will even share her food with us if Gramma is not looking. (Gramma says that cat food is not good for us, but I think the real reason she doesn't want us to have it is because it makes us have diarrhea.) Gramma says that Smokey, the cat, came with the campground and that she is a very old lady. She used to catch her own food. Cats eat mice and birds. Personally I find that to be just a little disgusting, But, I am not a cat. All I know is that Gramma buys cat food and Aunt Debbie brings cat treats and I find both to be very tasty.
But, this is not about food. Okay, maybe a little bit. Not too long ago Gramma spotted a calico cat here in the campground. This cat is not friendly at all. Aunt Debbie has tried to lure the cat to her with treats and Gramma has tried to pet her while she eats out of Smokey's bowl, but this cat will just run away. I myself, had an encounter with this calico cat. I was quite excited to see her in our golf cart one evening and yelped in delight. This calico cat took off running. I thought she wanted to play with me and see how fast I could run. Gramma says that I was a white blur as I chased this calico cat. Gramma was not pleased with my antics and Papa caught me and brought me inside ......... but that is another story.
Last week Gramma went outside with her coffee to admire her gardens and feed Smokey. She came back inside and woke Papa. She sounded very worried. She told Papa there was a lot of Smokey's fur and blood on the front porch! When she said blood, us dogs sat up and paid attention. Who would do such a thing? Oscar was enraged and told us that Smokey is our cat and we must find out who did this to her!
She was laying in her litter box! She had bite marks on her neck and ears. Gramma picked her up very gently and held her. She told Papa that Smokey was trembling. Papa was looking for a gun!! Gramma said that calico cat did this to our cat and she wants that calico cat to go live somewhere else. Papa said he would shoot the calico cat and it would not need a place to live anymore. What? I am confused. If you get shot, you get a special place to live? I have had shots at the vet and I still live here. What is he talking about? I looked at Oscar and Emmy and asked what Papa meant by this. They looked back at me with very scared eyes and told me that Papa was talking about killing this calico cat! Gramma started laughing. Why was this killing of a cat funny to her? Your Gramma is a very complicated person, I tell you. Then when Gramma could speak she asked Papa why he thought he could shoot a very fast cat if he couldn't shoot a muskrat in the pond. I really don't know what she meant by that, do you?
Gramma told Papa to forget the gun, that she would take care of the situation. She said she didn't want the cat dead, just gone. She said that she could make this cat not want to live here at our campground. Papa said that if anyone could do that, Gramma could. Oscar explained to me that Gramma can make your life very nice and that she can also make your life miserable. I think I know what he means. When Gramma is unhappy with me she will not hold me or give me treats and I am miserable. But, she doesn't ever hold this calico cat and never gives her treats. So, what will Gramma do to make this calico cat be miserable enough to leave our campground?
Gramma keeps this can on her desk. Emmy says it is to kill wasps and hornets. They sting and it hurts really bad, so I can see why she would keep this can handy. She showed this can to Papa and told him she would spray that calico cat every time she saw her. Papa laughed at Gramma and asked her how she would be able to get close enough. Gramma told Papa that this can will shoot a stream of wasp poison to a target 20 feet away. Papa was impressed. Gramma told Papa that she keeps it on her desk to have handy in case some mean person should try to attack her when she is alone. She told Papa that this wasp poison can blind a person and will even kill mice and snakes. Us dogs were impressed. Gramma is a very smart lady! She reads a lot, you know.
You will be happy to know that Gramma has already zapped that mean calico cat once. Every time that cat sees Gramma she runs as fast as she can. Gramma sent Papa to the store to get more of those cans of wasp poison. She says that we need to keep these cans handy and zap this crazy calico until she finds it impossible to live here in our campground and moves on. Sounds like a good plan to me.
Smokey is much better, thanks to the loving attention of Gramma and Emmy. Smokey went into the back yard where us dogs live when we are outside. Emmy found her and cleaned all her wounds while Oscar and I stood guard. If that calico cat dares to enter I will chase and tackle her to the ground. Oscar will take over from there while I hold her down and Emmy protects Smokey. We take of our family! I will take care of you, my boy, and your new dog, Rocky! Do not be afraid to visit. I will not let that calico cat near either of you!
Your brave dog, Wall-E
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
You are 6 years old today!! Gramma said I should learn to sing a song, a special birthday song. I will sing it to you when you come here to my house. I am practising. Oscar said I need a lot more practice. Gramma told him to be nice.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
I have so much to tell you! Gramma has been so busy that she has been neglecting my writing. I will forgive her, because I have been watching her work and let me tell you, she works hard! We have just finished our first big holiday of the season. Us dogs are already in the groove. We don't even bother to bark at all the people ..... or the dogs. Gramma says that I am a fast learner.
Look at this dog! I think he may be the driver of the big motor home. Gramma called him a poodle. He is white like me, but his hair is very curly. Emmy wondered if he had had a perm. What is a perm?
Gramma said that yesterday was your Mom's birthday. I heard her tell someone that your mom was her baby. What? Gramma is a Mom? I thought she was a Gramma. Just a Gramma. This is very confusing to me. Gramma tried to explain it all to me, but I just don't get it. How can your Mom be Gramma's baby? She is bigger than Gramma. I have seen her stand next to Gramma and I tell you, she is bigger. Emmy tried to tell me that all of her puppies grew to be bigger than her, too! This is amazing to me. I will have to think about this and we will talk when you come to see me. Are you going to be bigger than your Mom?
My head hurts from thinking! Gramma tells me that you are playing baseball. I bet I could help you play! I am there for you ....... I have never played baseball, but I know how to catch a ball. I will dream of you and me running with a ball in the grass while I sleep tonight. I am getting pretty sleepy sitting here in Gramma's lap. Don't forget that I love you and you will always be my best boy!
Your faithful dog, Wall-E