Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Snakes Alive!

Dear Gavin.

No pictures of this adventure, my boy, but I will tell you what happened. Gramma killed a snake!!!! Yes she did! She was getting a bundle of wood for a camper and she picked up a piece of the wood and there it was ........ a snake, just laying there looking at her. Us dogs listened to the whole story while she told Papa about it. Papa was not here, that is why Gramma was getting the wood. I suppose Papa would have found the snake if he had been here; but only if he picked up the exact same piece of wood that Gramma picked up. What are the chances of that? That snake could still be there, waiting to .............

I have a confession. I don't even know what a snake is, or what it does. Why did Gramma kill the snake? It must be bad if Gramma wanted to kill it. I have heard her say, "Toni, I am going to kill you!" when the puppy called Toni chews on her shoes. Chewing up shoes and magazines is not a good thing. Gramma gets really mad at the puppy called Toni, but she doesn't really kill her. So, I wonder what this snake did to make Gramma actually kill it.

I listened to Gramma tell Papa that this snake coiled up and struck at her. By that time Oscar had informed me that a snake is a reptile that slithers on the ground because it has no arms or legs. So, now I am confused, how could this snake strike out at Gramma with no arms? Or legs? Papa asked how big the snake was and what kind. Gramma said it was small, no bigger around than a pencil and that she was pretty sure it was a moccasin. Oscar said that this was not good. I had already figured that much out! He said that this is a poisonous snake and that a bite from this snake could kill! Kill Gramma! Oh no, that can't happen. She takes care of us dogs. I know that Papa helps, but he is not as good at it as Gramma is.

Come to think of it Gramma takes care of Papa, too. Things would not go well if we lost Gramma. Papa takes short cuts on a lot of things. He never even rinses our water dish, much less wash it. He just adds water to what is already there. I don't know if you know this, but us dogs actually stick our tongues in the water to drink. Some times the puppy called Toni still has food on her tongue and it gets in the water. Gramma told me that humans call this backwash and that is why they don't like to drink after small children. I prefer to have Gramma fill our dish. She takes it to the sink and washes it out and then puts fresh cold water in it. Papa just grabs a cup or a glass or a bowl off the counter and puts water in it, then dumps it in our bowl. If he drops an ice cube he will toss that in, too. All the food particles in the bottom of the bowl swirl to the top .......... not very thirst quenching!

But, this is about snakes. Papa says that it sounded like a baby mocassin and Gramma said that is what she thought, too. I thought Gramma was very fond of babies, but I guess snakes don't qualify. Gramma told Papa that she wanted the wood pile cleaned up and restacked where there is no grass. She does not like the fact that there could be more babies waiting in the wood pile to strike out at her! Papa asked what she killed the snake with and she told him that she smashed the snake with another piece of firewood and that this was the very first snake she had ever killed! Usually when Gramma sees a snake she yells for Papa, but he wasn't here and she said she was afraid that the snake would slither under the fence and into our yard. Our yard? Where us dogs play? Oscar was alert at once and said he could kill a snake. Emmy told me if I ever see one I should just stay away from it. This is a good idea ..... except that I have no idea what a snake looks like. Emmy told me to just think about a worm on steroids. I did. I thought it was pretty funny, too. Emmy warned me to not make light of this issue, that even a very small snake could make me very, very sick and might even kill me.

So, promise me that you will never, ever pick up a snake, okay? I will leave them alone, too. I also told Oscar that he should leave the snake killing to Gramma and Papa. Gramma seemed quite proud of herself after killing this snake full of poison. Papa says that there are good snakes as well as bad snakes. Gramma told him that the only good snake was a dead snake. I think that she was making a joke, or maybe not. She didn't laugh.

Gramma said she wished she had her camera when she saw the snake, but that she probably would not have taken a picture until he was dead. Gramma is very careful, you know. I will be very careful, too, my boy. I must go now, Gramma wants me to go outside with the puppy called Toni. Toni likes to play and Gramma wants me to make her very tired for a nap. I can do that.

Your helpful dog, Wall-E


  1. Evil snake met it's maker! Good for gramma!

  2. PS--There ARE good snakes that eat aphids and other bugs and spiders and mice and rats that can hurt us and our plants. They don't bite people, either.

  3. Wow! That sounds exciting and scary at the same time! I am glad your grandma was okay! I haven't seen a snake in real life, but I've seen pictures of them. Mom says she hopes we never see one when we're out hiking!