Monday, August 29, 2011


Dear Gavin,

As you no doubt know, I do not have fleas, nor have I ever had fleas. I don't do fleas. Gramma doses me with special medicine so that I don't get fleas. I am not sure what fleas are, if you want to know the truth. Oscar told me that he has had them before, Emmy, too. They both told me that these fleas will bite you and make you itch like crazy. They told me that you can't stop scratching. They said it was as bad as when Gramma has poison ivy!

Well, last night, the puppy called Toni would not go to sleep. She was scratching and scratching and she was even biting herself! Oscar said that she was not actually biting her skin, but that she was trying to bite the fleas and kill them. You know, like when Gramma found that tick on me and she squeezed it until it popped. Poor Toni was miserable. So was Gramma. She kept telling Toni to be still. Finally we all got up and went outside to pee. When Gramma brought us back in I looked at her and begged with my eyes to be allowed to sleep in my kennel, cause Toni was keeping me awake. Oscar slept. Papa slept. But Gramma and Emmy could not sleep. When it was finally daylight, Gramma saw a flea on her arm .............. she woke everybody up!

She flipped the puppy called Toni over and told Papa that she was going to examine her under carriage (can't tell you what that is, cause I don't know). Toni tried to bite Gramma (never a good move) and Gramma spoke in her no-nonsense voice. Toni lay very still and Gramma announced that Toni had fleas! I was so scared! What would this mean for the puppy called Toni?? Why does the puppy called Toni have these fleas on her?

Gramma told Papa that it was just days away from our regular dose of Advantix and that the puppy called Toni had grown since she had been dosed. All of the fleas were around her tail and back legs, so she was pretty sure that she had not used the correct dose for the puppy called Toni. So, Papa said, why didn't she just put the right amount on her now. Papa is really silly if he thinks Gramma will miss an opportunity to give us dogs a bath! But, Gramma made Papa go get some special flea shampoo. We all got shampooed with the new shampoo and Gramma even shampooed her hair with it. Gramma really, really hates fleas!

But that is not the end of the flea cleaning. She washed all us dogs' blankets and pillows, too. I just had my kennel blanket smelling like sweaty feet again, too. Now it is April fresh, thanks to Toni for going out on an adventure and bringing home fleas. Emmy was quite happy to have a bath and Oscar says that you have to admit that it does make you feel better. I will tolerate these monthly washings of myself, but I really wish Gramma would leave my blankets alone!

I hope that the puppy called Toni has learned her lesson and will not escape on an adventure again! I hope you never get fleas on you! The fleas did not get on Papa, but they did get on Gramma. Papa said it was because Gramma was sweeter than him. I don't know about that; I have licked both of them and they both taste salty to me. Sometimes Gramma will put lotion on her hands and legs. Oscar likes to lick that, but I prefer just plain skin.

Be careful when you go exploring on adventures and look out for fleas!!!

Your flea-free dog, Wall-E

1 comment:

  1. I'm not sure which horrifies me more, the thought of fleas or the thought of a bath! The HORROR! Oh, Wall E, I'm so glad you didn't have fleas, too.