I have a sad and scary story to tell you. Remember that gray cat that lives on Gramma's front porch? Remember, I told you that I was afraid of her a long time ago? Well, I am not afraid anymore. She is okay, she never bothers us dogs and she will even share her food with us if Gramma is not looking. (Gramma says that cat food is not good for us, but I think the real reason she doesn't want us to have it is because it makes us have diarrhea.) Gramma says that Smokey, the cat, came with the campground and that she is a very old lady. She used to catch her own food. Cats eat mice and birds. Personally I find that to be just a little disgusting, But, I am not a cat. All I know is that Gramma buys cat food and Aunt Debbie brings cat treats and I find both to be very tasty.
But, this is not about food. Okay, maybe a little bit. Not too long ago Gramma spotted a calico cat here in the campground. This cat is not friendly at all. Aunt Debbie has tried to lure the cat to her with treats and Gramma has tried to pet her while she eats out of Smokey's bowl, but this cat will just run away. I myself, had an encounter with this calico cat. I was quite excited to see her in our golf cart one evening and yelped in delight. This calico cat took off running. I thought she wanted to play with me and see how fast I could run. Gramma says that I was a white blur as I chased this calico cat. Gramma was not pleased with my antics and Papa caught me and brought me inside ......... but that is another story.
Last week Gramma went outside with her coffee to admire her gardens and feed Smokey. She came back inside and woke Papa. She sounded very worried. She told Papa there was a lot of Smokey's fur and blood on the front porch! When she said blood, us dogs sat up and paid attention. Who would do such a thing? Oscar was enraged and told us that Smokey is our cat and we must find out who did this to her!
She was laying in her litter box! She had bite marks on her neck and ears. Gramma picked her up very gently and held her. She told Papa that Smokey was trembling. Papa was looking for a gun!! Gramma said that calico cat did this to our cat and she wants that calico cat to go live somewhere else. Papa said he would shoot the calico cat and it would not need a place to live anymore. What? I am confused. If you get shot, you get a special place to live? I have had shots at the vet and I still live here. What is he talking about? I looked at Oscar and Emmy and asked what Papa meant by this. They looked back at me with very scared eyes and told me that Papa was talking about killing this calico cat! Gramma started laughing. Why was this killing of a cat funny to her? Your Gramma is a very complicated person, I tell you. Then when Gramma could speak she asked Papa why he thought he could shoot a very fast cat if he couldn't shoot a muskrat in the pond. I really don't know what she meant by that, do you?
Gramma told Papa to forget the gun, that she would take care of the situation. She said she didn't want the cat dead, just gone. She said that she could make this cat not want to live here at our campground. Papa said that if anyone could do that, Gramma could. Oscar explained to me that Gramma can make your life very nice and that she can also make your life miserable. I think I know what he means. When Gramma is unhappy with me she will not hold me or give me treats and I am miserable. But, she doesn't ever hold this calico cat and never gives her treats. So, what will Gramma do to make this calico cat be miserable enough to leave our campground?
Gramma keeps this can on her desk. Emmy says it is to kill wasps and hornets. They sting and it hurts really bad, so I can see why she would keep this can handy. She showed this can to Papa and told him she would spray that calico cat every time she saw her. Papa laughed at Gramma and asked her how she would be able to get close enough. Gramma told Papa that this can will shoot a stream of wasp poison to a target 20 feet away. Papa was impressed. Gramma told Papa that she keeps it on her desk to have handy in case some mean person should try to attack her when she is alone. She told Papa that this wasp poison can blind a person and will even kill mice and snakes. Us dogs were impressed. Gramma is a very smart lady! She reads a lot, you know.
You will be happy to know that Gramma has already zapped that mean calico cat once. Every time that cat sees Gramma she runs as fast as she can. Gramma sent Papa to the store to get more of those cans of wasp poison. She says that we need to keep these cans handy and zap this crazy calico until she finds it impossible to live here in our campground and moves on. Sounds like a good plan to me.
Smokey is much better, thanks to the loving attention of Gramma and Emmy. Smokey went into the back yard where us dogs live when we are outside. Emmy found her and cleaned all her wounds while Oscar and I stood guard. If that calico cat dares to enter I will chase and tackle her to the ground. Oscar will take over from there while I hold her down and Emmy protects Smokey. We take of our family! I will take care of you, my boy, and your new dog, Rocky! Do not be afraid to visit. I will not let that calico cat near either of you!
Your brave dog, Wall-E