Trick... No Treat!

Dear Gavin,

I have learned a new word....humiliation. Do you see me as I write this? I am humiliated. That is when you are forced to wear your sister dog's costume. Costume, another new word. A costume is something you wear to pretend you are something other than what you are. Why people do this, well, that is a mystery to us dogs.

Do I look happy? No, I do not. I am supposed to a ballerina. Another new word! I do not know or even care to know this ballerina is. My friend, Don, betrayed me! He helped Gramma put this awful thing that Gramma called a tutu on me and then held me for a picture. I did not want to be seen by anyone in this, no, I did not!

Another costume. This is a hot dog. I would have run from Gramma, but this costume is hard to run in. Do you see this? I am enclosed in what is supposed to be a bun with a row of mustard and ketchup on my back. I am supposed to be the hot dog! Oscar told me that Gramma made this for him to wear two years ago at a Halloween party. He was not happy to wear it either. He told me that his breed is sometimes referred to as a wiener dog and a hot dog is a wiener. Oscar says that this is a good example of irony. Another new word!

Sooooooo humiliating. I was hoping the ground would open and swallow me whole!

Oh, please.... I can't even hike my leg to mark this trashcan!

I tried to run through costume, but that didn't work either.

You must speak to Gramma about this costume thing. She made me wear a harness today. It was red, white and blue. She told me I was patriotic. Emmy tells me that this word means that I love my country. That is all well and good, but I think I can love my country just fine without having to wear some sort of cloth on my body to say so!

While I was wearing the patriotic harness that was attached to a patriotic leash we all got into the car and went for a ride. At first I was happy to get to go, but I did not like it so much. There are windows all around the car and you can look outside while you are riding. We were going very fast! I got into Gramma's lap. Oscar was already there. He was looking out the window and Emmy was in Papa's lap and she was looking out the window. I tried looking out the window and this really big truck whizzed by and scared me so bad. I put my head on Gramma's neck and hid my face!

Gramma patted me on my back and told me that everything was alright. I tried a few more times and I still did not like this thing called riding in a car. I spent the whole trip with my face in Gramma's neck! She was pretty nice about it until I was sliding down a little and I sort of dug my claws in to her shoulder to hold on. I didn't mean to hurt her. She held me close to her when Papa said to put me in the back. She told Papa that I was scared and that I could stay in her lap. I love Gramma!

When we stopped we all got out and peed on some grass by a bush. Oscar showed me how to smell for other dogs' pee. That was fun. After that we all got back into Gramma's car. Papa and Gramma looked at this big, big thing called a motor home. Oscar said that we used to have this thing called a motor home....... before I was here. Anyway he said that they used to take long trips in it and sleep in it.

Well, guess what? When Papa came back to the car he let me pee again and the he put me in the motorhome and drove away! Where was Gramma? Where was Oscar and Emmy? I was so scared! When we stopped again I was so, so happy. Gramma was in her car and so were Oscar and Emmy. I was so relieved and happy. Papa went into this place and we got hamburgers and a big cup of water. We ate in the motor home. I was happy again. Papa told Gramma that I cried the whole way with him, so Emmy stayed with Papa and rode with him. I was quite content to get back in Gramma's car. This time I did not even look out the window I lay down in the seat with Oscar and slept all the way home.

Well , this was an exciting day and I am tired after my big adventure. I will say goodnight now and remind you that you are my best boy! Next time I see you I will be in my motor home!

Your traveling dog,

Wall-E

I Like Company!

Dear Gavin,

Do you remember Kiley? She came to see me tonight. She held me and I really liked it. She only held me. She did not hold Oscar and she did not hold Emmy.... just me!


She came with her Gramma. Her Gramma and your Gramma are friends, you know. I call her Gramma Aunt Debbie. She comes over to our house all the time. I will tell you a secret. Aunt Debbie brings snacks to that cat that lives outside on our front porch. She thinks that us dogs do not know this, but we saw her through the window. She tried to get Kiley to feed that cat, but Kiley accidentally shook the lid off the can in the car. Boy, I wish I had been there. I would have eaten all the cat snacks. I tried one once and they are quite delicious!

Kiley gave us dogs some treats. I ran away with mine as soon as she gave it to me. I did not know Gramma was taking pictures. I would have shown you how I can sit pretty. I am getting a lot better at balancing. I practice all the time.


I am still not as good as Oscar, though, he will stand on his back legs forever!

I am glad that Kiley came over to our house tonight. She was fun...... but she said she was bored. Gee, how could she be bored....... I was here...... and I am cute .... don't you think so?

Kiley says she will be coming out here with her Gramma a lot. I bet she will like to play with you when you come for our annual visit. That is a new word for my vocabulary. Annual means once a year. I plan to have a very big vocabulary. Gramma says that you will be building your vocabulary, too.

Don't forget that I love you and miss you.

Your dog, Wall-E

More Dogs.......

Dear Gavin,
Remember I told you about other dogs......... Well, it seems they are everywhere here in our park. I don't know if I like this. I like it when I am the only dog in the store with Gramma and the customers (that is those people who buy things in the store) pet me. Gramma says that I am a little ham and that I love attention. What is that supposed to mean. Don't you eat ham? I have seen Gramma cook this thing called ham and then everybody gets a plate and they eat the ham. I like this stuff called ham myself. It is quite tasty.....so why is she saying that I am a ham? We will have to get back to this issue later......

Just look at this big dog who is called Tank! Can you see how big he is?


Look at the size of his head! Look at that mouth! Why I believe he could fit my entire head in his mouth! This is the dog that Oscar went after, remember, I told you about this incident in a previous letter. I have been working on my vocabulary, can you tell?

Now here is another picture of that snooty dog, Frank, and his pal Tango. Gramma says that these dogs are called Pugs. She said that Tango was a sweetheart. Tango is a boy and Frank (that is what his person calls him) is a boy. They live with that gigantic dog named Tank and he is a boy, too. Wonder why there are no girl dogs at their house? I like having Emmy around....she cleans my ears and washes my face every day. Gramma says she has maternal instincts. I will be investigating those words this week........

Look here at these dogs.... all girl dogs. They are taking a walk with their person. You can't see their person, cause Gramma cut his head off. In the picture... not for real! That really little dog is Lily. See her jumping? She likes for Gramma to pick her up. She is smaller than Emmy! Gramma called her a Yorkie.

Gramma says that the black dog is a poodle named Lucy and that she is feisty. That means that she has a temper, Oscar told me that. He said that he has been called feisty before. I have heard Gramma call Oscar a lot of different names. She calls him spawn of satan a lot. Emmy says that this is no compliment and that he is being a bad boy when Gramma says this. She calls him a handsome devil, too, then she kisses him. I get so confused.... Emmy says that satan and devil are the same thing.

But back to the other dogs. Gramma says that Chloe is the black and white dog and that her breed is Shih Tzu . Gramma says that Cloe has a very sweet nature and is very friendly. Well, that may be , but I am staying right here in the house. I can bark at them just fine out the window!

Now, back to that big dog Tank. Gramma told me that he is a mixed breed dog...... like me. What is she saying? I am not a mixed breed, no I am not! I am a Follow dog. Doesn't she remember? She is the one who told me that!

I am very worried about Gramma and her memory. Do you think she is just getting too old? Oscar is laughing at me again. Sometimes he is not nice at all. He is very brave, just not very nice.

I hope that you will check on Gramma and see if you think she is getting too old. I do like her very much.... okay, I really do love her and Papa. That doesn't mean that you are not my boy anymore. You are, and I will always love you the most.

Your Follow dog,

Wall-E

I Can See Out This Door

Dear Gavin,

Gramma calls this a screen door. I can see through this stuff called screen. Can You see me? Gramma says that she can see me.

See that hole......... I must confess that I did it. Oscar said that confession is good for the soul. I did not know what that meant and I had to ask Gramma. She told me that if you tell the truth you will feel better. Gee, why didn't he just say that?

I was looking out that door called a screen one day and I saw this man come up to the store. He was riding in this thing they call a golf cart. I do not know why this contraption is called a golf cart. Anyway he brought this dog along. Just look at that dog laughing at me because I am stuck here behind this silly door. I did not let him just laugh at me, no, I did not! I barked and I barked. Oscar and Emmy joined in until Gramma showed us her fly swatter. She must have lots of them because she will just appear with one in her hand. Anyway I didn't stop barking and she picked me up and asked if I would like to go out and meet that dog!!!! Is she crazy? NO!!! I do not care how nice she tells me this dog is. He is bigger than me, can she not see that?

Oscar called me a scaredy cat. Cat.... I am not a cat. I will confess that I am scared, but I am not a cat. Because I was scared and did not want to go out to meet this dog I quit barking. Gramma tricked me, didn't she?

Here is another dog that was in our park. Gramma called him a mere pup. What kind of dog is that? Oscar told me that "mere" means "only". Okay, I still don't know what kind of dog this is. Is he a Follow dog like me? Oscar and Emmy are Dachshund dogs. That dog in the other picture is a Golden Retriever. This pup, though, we do not know. Do you know what kind of dog this is?

I hope you can tell me what this dog is. Gramma says it is a mystery. She says that I will make a fine detective because I am not afraid to ask questions. Will that make me a Detective dog? Write soon and let me know if you can help me solve this mystery.

It is no mystery that you are my boy. Don't forget that I love you!

Your faithful dog,

Wall-E

New Dog In The Park

Dear Gavin,
Did you know that other dogs live in our park? I try to be brave, really I do.........


I was looking out the window the other day. I like to watch people. Gramma has these things she calls curtains in front of the windows. I use my nose to push them to one side and I look out. I really like to look out when Gramma goes out. She talks to people. She likes to talk. Papa told me that. Papa is holding me in this picture. Do I look scared to you? Cause I was.........

I saw this dog when I looked out the other day! Look at him! He looks very mean to me. Gramma says he is a big old pussycat. WHAT? I swear to you he is a dog! Not a cat! This I do know......I am a dog after all. Gramma says his name is Franklin.

I do not think I want to get to know this dog named Franklin. Oscar says he is not scared at all. He says there is not a dog big enough or mean enough to scare him. He means it, too. He went after this other dog named Tank and he wasn't scared. I saw the whole thing. That dog Tank was huge, I tell you, he was gigantic! Oscar just ran right up to him and he was ready for a fight.

I am thinking that Oscar might be the bravest dog I have ever met. I am glad that I live here with him, yes, I am. I am thinking of you today, my boy. I hope that you are having fun at school. I hope that there isn't anybody in your class that looks as mean as this dog named Franklin. I hope that you are not scared....... like I am. Don't worry about me, though. I have Gramma and Papa and Oscar. I guess I am one lucky dog, right? After all, I have the best boy in the whole world! I love you, don't forget.

Your dog, Wall-E

School Started

Dear Gavin,

Gramma tells me that you started school today. Okay, I admit that I have no idea what school is. I asked Emmy and I asked Oscar. They were not really sure, so we all went to Gramma so she could tell us.

School is where you learn things! Gramma says that you are going to learn to read and write. I am so excited. This means that you will be able to write to me and that you can read what I write to you and you won't have to ask your mom for help!! Gramma tells us that your mom is a busy woman. She says that she has to take care of you and work and do all the things that have to be done at your house. Gramma says that the only time your mom has to help you read and write is at night when her shows are on...... and we all know better than to interrupt your mom then. She said that your mom is a force to be reckoned with. When I asked, she said that things are just calmer if we don't mess with your mom.

So, how does this thing called school work? Gramma says that you might even ride a bus! I didn't know what that was, but Oscar did. He reminded me that I had seen one go by our house. It was very big and yellow. Gramma told Oscar that he was right and then she started singing this really dumb song to us (you know how she likes to sing). "The wheels on the bus go round and round........" The wheels are round, so how else would they go? Really, even I know that!

Gramma says that you will have a teacher to help you and that you will learn the letters of the alphabet. She explained to me that these letters will be used to make words and that you will learn how to put them together. This sounds pretty complicated to me. I looked at Gramma with my head to one side and she told me not to worry, that you would be able to do it. She says that you are very smart. Papa said that you look like him and act like him and that meant that you are really smart. Gramma called Papa a comedienne. That is someone who thinks they are funny, but they aren't.....that is what Gramma said....to Papa.

Papa said that you will learn to count and work with numbers, too. Wow. This is a whole lot of new stuff for you. I must have looked worried again because she picked me up and rubbed my head. She said that all children your age are going to learn all this. She said that Maya was going to school, too. And get this.....Kenzie is still going to school and she is way older than you and Maya. This school thing must be pretty important if everybody is going. Gage and Layla go to school, too.

I am still a little confused. Maybe I need a nap. In honor of your first day of school I had a bath. It was quite refreshing and I am thinking a nice long nap will top it off to perfection. Gramma says that my vocabulary is growing. I am not going to ask her what a vocabulary is today. I will dream of you, my boy. I will see you writing words and numbers in my sleep. I love you, my boy.

Your Clean Dog, Wall-E

Please, Will You Just Hold Me!

Dear Gavin,

When will the season be over? What is the season anyway? Gramma keeps talking about the season. She says that when the season is over she will have more time to play with us dogs. I do not know what this season is, but I will be glad when it is over. Do you know she is talking about?

I asked Oscar and I asked Emmy. They tell me that it is hard to explain what the season is. They say that when there is snow on the ground and it is cold outside that Gramma is in the house a lot. They tell me that she keeps a fire going and cooks things that smell really good and that she drinks hot tea and writes on her computer. They tell me that it is wonderful because they get to snuggle next to her all day long!

I hope that it starts to snow soon! I remember that it was snowing when Gramma and Papa came to your house in Minnesota and took me to live with them. I was scared and I didn't think I was going to like it in Missouri. Gramma held me a lot then. She made Oscar be nice to me. I am glad that she held me then, it made me feel safe............. I wish she would stop working and hold me now.

I miss you today, my boy. Do you miss me? You haven't gotten another dog have you? I would not like that, no, I would not! Don't you forget that you are my boy and I love you.

Your dog, Wall-E