I Am Not Jealous ..... Really, I Am Not!

Dear Gavin,

This new puppy got in the bed with Gramma and Papa last night. I did not like it one bit .... no, I did not! Papa was playing the game he usually plays with me with that puppy called Toni. I hate her. I do, I am not kidding. She is annoying. Always running and jumping and playing. I just hate her. She will come up to me and try to engage me in play. She will hold her paw up and wave it at me. I just walk away, but she follows me and won't leave me alone.

She slept all night, right in our bed with all of us dogs. I know she is a dog, too, but this was our bed with Gramma and Papa. I do not want to share. I want it to just be us three dogs. I was quite content, I tell you! Gramma told Toni that she was a good girl just because she slept all night. Whatever, I sleep all night all the time. Does she tell me I am good just for doing what I am supposed to do anyway? No!

Toni, the puppy with puppy breath peed in the floor! Oh boy, I thought she was in for it, but Gramma just mopped it up and showed it to her and told her "no-no, we go outside to pee". If I pee in the floor she scolds me! Gramma was mopping and Toni put her paws on the side of the bucket to look in and Gramma said she was so cute. She called Papa to look at Toni look at the mop water. Disgusting! It is not like she caught a frisbee, is it? Then , she went outside and peed and Gramma clapped and petted her like crazy and told her what a good little girl she was. I said big deal for her .... I pee outside all the time. Then when the stupid little dog with puppy breath came in the house she was running and couldn't stop. She slid into the water dish and tipped it up and was wet all over. Gramma laughed!!! I am not kidding, she laughed. She picked Toni up and showed her to Papa.

Oscar and Emmy have been making fun of me and calling me jealous. I am not jealous! I just do not like this dog called Toni with puppy breath, that's all. Oscar says that I used to act just like this puppy. Did I? I do not remember being so annoying, I just wanted to play, that's all. I was never so annoying, was I? I don't like seeing this dog in Gramma's lap or in Papa's lap, that's all. I am glad that you are not here. I do not think I could bear it if you held this dog called Toni with puppy breath. Everybody keeps telling her she is so cute. I do not find her to be cute at all. She is just an annoying little dog with long legs and puppy breath. Oh, about the puppy breath ..... what is the big deal with that?

All puppies have puppy breath and I had puppy breath when I was a puppy, so big deal! I want to be the youngest dog here! But I am not jealous, I tell you. Really, I am not! I wish I could just go stay with my boy, that's all.

Your NOT jealous dog, Wall-E